Tribute to Fathers

In a few short weeks, I will be making one of the biggest transitions of my life- a transition that young girls dream about as soon as they can wrap their minds around the fantasy of marriage.  My father will walk me down the aisle and give me away to the man that God has called me to spend the rest of my life with. (I won’t claim the more commonly used “man of my dreams” as I left my heart open for a real pleasant surprise!) This will change everything- including my relationship with my dad, but I only anticipate growth from the solid foundation that he set for me.

I am able to attribute any positive character trait or accomplishment that I've made to my parents and the values that they poured into me. Though I deeply cherish the relationship I have with my amazing mother, there is something unique and special between a girl and her dad. If a daughter is so blessed as to have loving father figure in her life, this is a treasure that should never be taken for granted.

It’s somewhat painful for me to look back at old photos of myself. We all endure our awkward phases, but that that phrase is an understatement for those fragile years that seemed to overstay their welcome in my world. The strange thing is, I remember feeling happy and secure through those years – and I know exactly why. My dad challenged me, but he also praised and encouraged me often. Whether I measured up to my peers or not, he made me feel like “the bomb” (as this was the trending aspiration in 2001).

I oversee our local ministry in Fort Worth, Texas, mobilizing volunteers to build relationships in our city. We have rooted ourselves in communities that are severely lacking in positive male figures. I hope and pray for the large populations of little girls and boys who grow up much faster than they should have to, that there is someone in their life telling them the things that every child needs to hear. The things my father said to me, the things my fiancé will tell our children one day.

Thank you dad for telling me that you were proud of me when I felt average, that you loved me when I felt left out, that I mattered when I questioned my significance, that you believed in me when I was unsure.

Though you may have been robbed of an ideal relationship with your earthly father, I would encourage every woman to seek the heart of her heavenly Father, who provides everything we need to be filled. If you are fortunate enough to have a dad who exudes the love of Father God, please never take that relationship for granted. It’s rare and it’s worth more than you realize. 

A Special Letter

Oh, how I would relish in the opportunity to sit down with a younger version of myself and have a conversation- not for the sake of imparting hard earned wisdom over time, but simply to connect with that zeal filled girl who was figuring life out day by day. I can see into her eyes right now. She’s wondering which friend she is going to hang out with next. She’s her own person, unafraid of what the world thinks about her homemade jewelry or the statement that she’s making with her hair. I admire her boldness and the and the joy that she receives from being with people. I’m grateful for the lessons I have learned, the growth I have experienced, and the insight I’ve attained through experience, and I fully anticipate what life ahead will continue to teach me.

At first I felt prompted to write a letter to my younger self, in reflecting, I think I will let her be. She is so hungry for what the world is about to throw at her. She is ready to take it on. My clues might only deter her from living out the road that lies ahead filled with excitement, pain, brokenness, and freedom. Man, she could teach me a thing or two. Every day that young girl allowed herself to become pruned, shaped, molded into who I am at this present moment, recalling the good times and bad that none of us can escape. I wouldn’t trade a thing. A more beneficial letter, I think would be one written to the daughter that I have not yet had. I dream about becoming a mother, I can’t wait. To be honest, I think more often about raising a little girl than I do a son, but I will joyfully anticipate any little one, should God bless me with the gift of motherhood in the future. So, drawing from the twenty-six years of experience I have with life on this earth; here is what I want my daughter to know;

Dear One,

Can you be in love with the thought of someone? I am already in love with you, and I think of you often. I not only dream about the superficial yet important things like the bows I will put in your hair, the dance classes I will take you to, or your first Easter Sunday dress, but the young lady you will grow into.  By the way, let me take this opportunity to let you know a little bit about your mother. It seemed like the feminine universe was against me as a child. I had no hair for bows, so my mother had to make them stick with Karo syrup, I protested ballet every week and felt miserable in my tutu, and finding an Eater dress year to year was somewhat of a nightmare, but somehow I was always quite girly and still shudder at the sight (and thought) of a bug looking at me. This was my experience, but should you have all the same frustrations and turn out differently from me, guess what? I will still love you with all of my heart. There is no one in this world that is more opposite of me than my own mother, and no friend that I love deeper. She is my best friend and I hope the same for you and me one day, but not until you are much older and have grown into a young woman. I will always be your mother first. I want you to look to your Father, both in heaven and on earth to understand your worth. Please little girl, take care of your heart and let us pour into you first instead of other guys who do not yet have your best interest in mind. This was my experience growing up; hanging out with my family on the weekends, sometimes sad that I was missing the parties or feeling left out. I look back with nothing but gratitude. Learn about Jesus now, and don’t wait. If you put anything off in life, do not let it be your relationship with your creator, the one who made you and knit you together in my womb. When others are trying to figure out who they are through trial and error, you fall deeply in love with the Father and he will reveal the unique identity that He has placed inside of you. Daughter, do not ever compromise your kindness to fit in. Others will. Sit with the girl who is alone at lunch. You can do this. These fragile years are so foundational for the rest of your life. When you are sad or angry, please tell me. Do not show me by making mistakes that you will live to regret. I am here, and though your words, and the reality of your circumstances may sometimes be painful for you to share, and more painful for me to hear, I want to listen. See, its not that I am nosey, or bossy, or want to control you, but I want to take your needs to Christ, so that He can lead me as a mother to love you the way He loves us. When you get upset, at the world you will hurt me- with your actions, your words, and your attitude. You will do this because you know in your heart that I love you deeply and unconditionally and though your motive is never to bring me pain, you feel safe and protected. This is because of my unwavering love for you. Even when you are filled with the truth, you will become distracted with the desires and lies of this world, but the Holy Spirit will be faithful to fill you up daily if you just ask Him to. I promise that the love he radiates through you will make you appear more beautiful than the distorted measuring sticks of beauty this world has to offer. When you start to dwell or focus on yourself, you will lose sight of who you are. Laugh a lot, eat cake on your birthday, be kind always, have a lot of friends, be transparent with people. These are all important, dear. Life is not easy. I always want life to be a fun party, but that’s not the reality, I get disappointed frequently. It makes me a little extreme in my personality, but your dad is a little more consistent with his demeanor to balance me out. I can’t wait to meet you for the first time and see your pretty face. I wish I could call you by name, but I will wait patiently for you. If you are a tom boy, if you like playing with bugs, or we spend weekends at your athletic tournaments, then teach me about these aspects of life. I can’t wait to learn from you. I dream that we will be as close as I am to my mother, and that is truly something to look forward to.

Daily Rhyme

When lies become viral,

and thoughts start to spiral,

Father remind us who you are,

the beautiful truth that consumes the dark.

When we're in your presence,

you become our essence. 

When we're pleasing man,

you take our hands,

and show us how to make YOU smile,

imparting your peace all the while.

Thank you Lord, when we can't afford,

everything that our flesh demands, 

you help us to understand,            

that there is more, a better way, 

providing what we need for each day.

Our impatience hurts, bitter and weak,

invade us with light when it's not what we seek.  

Your sufficient grace will never waver,

You show us love, mercy, and favor.

Quiet our spirits, calm our souls

fill us with you, God make us whole.

. . .

Do you ever reflect until your heart breaks,

remembering the blood that was shed for your sake?

Dressed in purple and mocked with a crown,

He loves you so deeply that he laid his life down.

It may become painful to dwell on the brutality,

but it causes more damage to ignore the reality.

With His very last breath, he said "It is finished",

and the penalty of our sins instantly diminished.

Understanding the magnitude of His sacrifice,

gives us perspective, and makes us think twice.

The cares of the world become unexplainably dim,

when our faith and understanding are rooted in Him.

I will no longer contrast beauty with imperfection,

because my physical being radiates his reflection.

If I truly trust God, If I truly believe,

my selfish ambitions I will not seek to achieve.

I know only the Father satisfies my soul,

nothing else in this world will make me feel whole.

His side was pierced after his last words were spoken,

He was covered in blood, but not one bone was broken.

True love was displayed when sin was defeated,

At the right hand of God, forever He's seated.

My savior rose, I will eternally rejoice,

and live every day anticipating His voice.

When i go through trials, when I stumble and fall,

I look to Jesus who paid for it all.

How could I  allow a season to flippantly pass by,

without falling more desperately in love with the giver of life?

That Fish Concept. . .

"Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime"....

Between earning a degree in social work, and serving with a body that engages the world, I’ve heard that quote so many times that I have to remind myself that it's not actually a verse in the Bible. It's a great quote- demonstrating the effectiveness of development over charity. We base our engagement around this principle and I believe in it, but when we become too married to this concept, I think it can hurt us. More critically, it can enable us to hurt others. What if instead we said something like; "Look at your fish, see God's people. What is God asking you to do with your fish in this moment?" So often we jeopardize our obedience to God because of our attachments to man made philosophies and theories. It's an unarguable fact that the impact of securing employment, self-sufficiency, or education for a homeless person is more significant than feeding them a meal, or said "fish". Some people do neither. I believe that in certain instances, God is going to speak to us and ask us to serve in a multitude of ways. Our income level, social status, or title gives us no authority to judge the circumstances of those in need. The assumption that every person living on the street is not to be trusted with cash because of his or her likely addiction bothers me. Not only is this not the reality of every person in need, but even if it were, it's still not up to us to discern. Are we perfect stewards of all that God has given us? Does he withhold good things from his children? When we are compelled to give cheerfully, freely, with generous abandonment, we are doing so to serve Jesus. It's the whole concept of Matthew 25:36 "I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me". When our actions become a result of this scripture, suddenly our motive for serving aligns with the perfect love of Christ. Our judgment no longer impairs our view of people in need and the reason for their circumstances becomes irrelevant. God equips us not only to give, but to disciple, to empower, to walk alongside people in need as we build relationships with them. This should always be on the forefront of our hearts when we serve. But we also have to be in tune to the voice of God, ready to display immediate obedience when he is calling us to meet needs. You may only be able to offer a meal, when the “real” need is education, but in that moment, the desire of Jesus’ heart is to share a meal with you. When the love of God is in us, his desires become our own. Let’s keep teaching men to fish, and let’s give our fish away freely. He uses it all.

What the World Taught Me About My Neighborhood

I grew up in a family that passionately values the world. From an early age my parents made it a priority that I cultivated an understanding of the world, and I am grateful for opportunities they gave me to see and experience it. Whether we brought gifts to the homeless shelters at Christmas, had representatives from every continent sitting around our Thanksgiving table year to year, or took off as a family to spend the summer in Vietnam, building unique relationships became part of who we were as a family and shaped my worldview. There is a greater depth of understanding that takes place when young people are exposed to these aspects of the kingdom that extends beyond a cultural experience. Here are the five most significant things that the world has taught me about my own neighborhood;

1. The significance of the family unit- as a human race, we naturally create families. Every tribe, every faith background, every culture builds itself around the dynamic and structure of the family unit. This is an extension of God’s design of the kingdom and the body of Christ. Nothing is more critical than identifying the common factors that we have with one another, because these are the foundations for building relationships and promoting peace among nations and individuals.

2. Poverty is a mindset more than anything – As I have cultivated relationships with individuals representing every socioeconomic class, I’ve realized that the poverty mentality can serve as a crippling stronghold, though every person living under the poverty line does not exhibit the hindrances that this mindset nurtures. Some of the most generous people I have ever met have the least amount of physical resources, but give everything they have with a spirit of gratitude. They realize that the gifts they have to give may not be costly by the world’s standards, but have eternal value. Seeing impoverished parts of the world both locally and abroad has shown me that money has so little to do with the richness of our lives.

3. True World Changers- A characteristic that I’ve observed from the influential leaders that I have come into contact with is that their humility and unassuming nature commands respect more than any other character trait. The sign of a great leader is someone who values their relationships with others above their own self-promotion, hears and obeys God, and remains faithful to their passion and purpose. We can and should learn from every person we come into contact with, as everyone is an expert in his or her own personal experience.

4. We are all Hungry- I've learned that people on the other side of the world and people right next-door seek to fulfill the same human needs. We satisfy our hunger in the same way, in fact sharing food together is a significant relationship building experience. I believe it is our responsibility to connect to one another as technology progresses and allows us to do so more today than ever before. Taking advantage of avenues such as social media to keep up with the world is not just about staying relevant, but it is the practice of good stewardship. Every person has the desire to be known, and to belong. When Christians, live out their identity in Christ as the true expression of who He made them to be, they gravitate toward others, because their heart’s response is to serve.

5. You don’t have to get on a plane to experience the world- this is especially true where I live. Though I have had the opportunity to travel, so much of my understanding and view of the world has been established by the cultural exposure that my parents incorporated into our family values. We had an exchange student live with us for several years who I call my brother. As a kid I was less enthusiastic about going to Haltom City to eat traditional Vietnamese food on the weekends to make him feel at home, but I now I realize how significant those repetitive experiences were for me to interact with other cultures. When my fiancé suggested a pho restaurant on our second date without any clues, he had my heart! It’s not just a matter of nostalgia, but it’s about the connection and access to culture within our own city. I remember when my dad met a waiter in a restaurant one day from another part of the world and started a friendship with him. He spent many holidays with us. The opportunities we have to live a life of diversity are vast, and we should always take advantage of them if we want to understand the world!