Old Testament, Modern World

This month I have been reading through Ezekiel and I've become fixated on both the character of God, and the nature of man.

Idolatry was such a struggle for the Israelites, probably the most significant sin that removed God from his throne in the eyes of the people. This downfall is seen as a theme through the history and stories of the Old Testament, so much so that it's current impact on modern society seems diluted.

Sadly, idolatry has continued to find a home in the empty hearts of man, who fall short of acknowledging Christ as the Lord of their lives. The desire to worship something is instilled inside of every man, we are eternal beings, and we long to feel connected to something greater than ourselves. Whether it's fortune, fame, acceptance, approval, there is a need and a longing to sense immediate fulfillment deep inside of us. Today, I would argue that our greatest idol is not time, talent, or even money, but simply each other. Comparison destroys, approval haunts, and we become enthralled with others to the point of worship. I'm bothered by the concept of "God shaped holes" in our hearts. Isn't God so much greater than something to seep into the cracks and emptiness of our beings? I want him to be more than that in my life! I want God to have all of me, because I know that his plan and desire for my life is so much greater than anything I could fathom on my own. He is worthy of my whole heart, my entire being and spirit. When HE is on the throne, the emptiness of this world and the idols we have created can not claim power over the hearts of man.

The REAL campaign for real beauty.

Thinking about the manner in which our society approaches self esteem among young girls makes me feel tired. I have become familiar with the resources available that attempt to redefine the way girls perceive themselves, and if you aren't a hermit, it's likely that you have too. We have saturated ourselves in it. Do you feel like it's been effective? I remember my awkward years...actually there's not a lot to remember, mine seemed to last longer than most. My roommate and I were getting ready for work in our apartment discussing our childhood (one that we were blessed to share together) and though we endured the painfully awkward years, we remember being happy and oblivious to our flaws. It's only painful now when we see the pictures of ourselves from years ago. Have you noticed the shift in our strive for perfection among girls at such an early age? It seems that the "awkward years" have nearly been eliminated from traditional stages of development. So what is causing this tension between the convergence of a forceful push toward positive self-esteem among girls, and a greater strive for perfection? There seems to be a selfish fixation that is fogging the intent of efforts toward healthy self esteem. The power of suggestion has created an emphasis on the ways in which girls perceive themselves. Maybe they were ok with who they were until so many voices were telling them that they should learn to become comfortable with themselves. This has caused us to question ourselves and reach unhealthy conclusions. Materials that encourage girls to think differently about themselves often lead them down a path of self-centeredness. Why is it necessary to search and analyze ourselves to the point of exhaustion? I have found that true identity is revealed when we have the opportunity to look outside of ourselves and serve others as we are called to do. That is when God's unique design and creation of man's heart becomes exposed. Furthermore, such a greater beauty comes from the girl who is kind, and loves others genuinely than the one who has forced herself into a healthy thought process about who she is. Girls don't have to watch super models or look in magazines to realize that they aren't perfect. They don't need to see a video that shows how "fake" that person actually is smiling on the billboard. All they have to do is walk to class at school where comparison is inevitable. We do not have the power to sustain a forced mentality of acceptance of self. It is my desire for girls to know that they are beautiful because they are fulfilling God's call in their life to serve others. Genuine inner beauty is defined by Christ shining through a willing spirit, and impacting others with confidence.

Not tryin to be someone, just tryin to do some things

This is simple math, but I still feel the need to articulate my idea about our strive to become something great. I was hanging out with a friend I hadn't seen since college last night, and as we were talking about the different things we were pursuing and hoping for, I had a realization. I wish someone in college had told me To stop thinking about who I want to be, and instead to consider what I want to be doing. Our culture has harvested a hunger for significance, not defined by what we actually do, but by who we are. I used to have a vague idea of what I wanted to do, but I knew I wanted it to be something "big". I didn't care how I got there or who I was advocating for, I just wanted be someone. My perspective of the way god is going to use me has since transformed. I still want to make a significant impact by serving vulnerable populations, but I also want to volunteer and hang out with refugees RIGHT NOW. I can do that! See, it's about what we can do, not WHO we want to be. If I am always dreaming about being on a stage in front of influential business leaders advocating for vulnerable populations as a 40 year old, I am going to miss out on what I could be doing as a 22 year old. I want to write a book, so I am writing, I'm not aspiring to be an author. I'm still dreaming big for my future and I'm not

Putting any limits on the way god can use me, but it's now more important for me to see how he is using me today. Who is he putting in my path to love now that will impact and influence my

Future? I want to change the world, but it's just important to me that my children think I'm a good mom. I'm taking it day by day and trusting that god is going to lead me to the place I am going. Significance should not be so heavily based on image, but by our ability to impact

Others through love. So to anyone feeling the suffocating pressures of becoming who you want To be, start focusing on what you can DO. It sounds a little backwards, but I'm right.

On Young People Feeling Disconnected.

Who's with me? My assumption is that is a majority of you who are reading this post between the ages of 21 and 25. I'm convinced this is a crucial season of life that I am experiencing along with many others my age, and I don't want to take it for granted. What a unique time the Lord has set aside for me to grow, mature, and absorb everything I possibly can, while learning a valuable lesson in patience. I'd like to make an attempt to encourage anyone reading this blog who's future seems mysterious. At first the mystery may excite you, make you feel like the possibilities are endless. Then it's Monday, then Tuesday, then March comes around, and before you have had the chance to send out another resume the mystery loses it's glamour and appeal. You become discouraged. The mystery becomes uncomfortable. Suddenly it dawns on you that your life has less structure than what makes you feel comfortable, productive, or like you are contributing to society in a valuable way at all. What is wrong with this mentality, and why does it seem to plague those of us who feel that we are in a trying time of transition? I don't have the answers, but I know that something is wrong with our skewed perception of success, value, and worth. I think we have missed the beauty and necessity for simplicity, which has long been fleeting from our society and more specifically our culture. There is something incredibly refreshing and peaceful about simplifying. We have been called to pursue relationships for the sake of spreading the love of Christ to others. The theme of Genesis through Revelation is love. How has our mentality become so convoluted? God has equipped each of us to love in a unique way through our giftings and passions. I've never believed in formulas, but I do think that trusting God with genuine faith gives freedom to pursue passion. God will show you how you will spend the rest of your life loving. You will know what to do, and you might even get paid for it.

Native American

Vietnam is Lovable

• The diversity of the regions makes it seem like three countries in one
• Vietnamese people value starting their day at 5 am
• They also value two-hour naps after lunch (They have been awake since 5 after all!)
• Life is lived outside
• “Children’s day” is celebrated and that’s the cutest

Music that I can’t stop playing

• Noah and the Whale
• Vampire Weekend
• Catpower
• Animal Collective
• William Fitzsimmons

Must be incorporated into every day

• Coffee
• Prayer/solitude/quiet/Jesus
• Friendship
• Driving with empty lyrics playing
• Productivity of some kind

Life giving activities

• Visiting Somali refugees
• Time with Viet students
• Hanging out with my brother
• Spending time with my parents
• Making you laugh

The morning is better

• It.s when coffee thrives
• Mysteries of what the day will bring
• Vibrant Blue skies
• Opportunities that the sleeping world will not have
• Newness

Movies that will entertain from beginning to end

• Edward Scissorhands
• 500 Days of Summer
• I frequent the theatre solo fashion
• My friends know I fall asleep in every movie
• When Im with people I want to be talking

Things worth Pursuing

• Writing
• Relationships
• The things deep inside that only you can reach
• Full potential
• The things and people you adore

Cities

• Portland
• Austin
• Hanoi
• Paris
• The ones I have yet to explore

Bucket list items

• Learn to play violin
• Black eye
• Write a book
• Travel the world
• Meet my children so that I don’t have to miss them anymore

Potentially Dry

Hey There,

Have you ever considered the emotional evolution of humanity? I became fixated on the concept as I was thinking about our attachment to social media. There is nothing innovative about studying the effects that social media has had on our society. This generation has the opportunity to become connected in ways that were not possible in history, and have immediate access to masses of information. #duh. Pragmatically, this principle has had effects on our ability to meet people, and the extent of our knowledge. What I am curious about though, is the emotional evolution that that has been provoked through our ability to express ourselves. I assume that every domain of humanity has somewhat "evolved" throughout history- our constructs, the way we look, the way we think, the way we "do life" in general. How have we, as a society, evolved in our emotional capacities and reactions to feelings? Though I would not be able to come to a resolution myself, I would confidently attribute the use of social media to the evolution of emotion. While "evolution" carries a neutral connotation, I've developed a perspective of effects that are distinctively positive and negative. Viewed in an optimistic light, the use of social media is responsible for providing an expanded outlet for expression. Thoughts can be more clearly articulated and communicated. Sometimes we dont want to tell anyone what is going on in our head except for twitter. There develops a support system among "followers" and "friends" who appear interested in the digital footprint that their contact is leaving. Derived is an opportunity for relationships, encouragement, and support that may have previously proven to be more difficult to come by. But when does this said support and encouragement become an unhealthy need? If we have any innate social norms, they have become violated through our obsession with social media. I recently heard a report on the news from a "facebook analyst" and I wasn't surprised that someone saw a need great enough to develop such an occupation. I fear the sincerity of our words and language becoming threatened as a result of our access to communication. Our ability to reach each other and advance along with technology should not be spared or limited, but we should take into consideration the way it has caused us to perceive ourselves and each other.

Things Undefined

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ky_GwkBDMYA

I love this song. Its about being ALIVE!! I.ve thought about naming my daughter Olive, but spelling it A-L-I-V-E.

I.ve been thinking a lot lately about creativity, in the context of our societies' approach to the idea. Do we embrace it? Im not convinced that we do, considering the constructs that hold many back who aspire to be artists, or pursue freelance work. When compared to other cultures, however ours is very open to the pursuit of creativity. I assume it most likely depends on what city you live in, what opportunities you are given, and what unique aptitudes you are able to develop. I can think for hours about the way our world has created so many institutions that bound us to paths and patterns that may be unnatural for some to follow. Education is the paramount example for this concept. Did God intend for such a structure that our society revolves around? I value education, understand its purpose, and would even advocate for all to have the opportunity to become educated, but that doesn't change the fact that it is man made. I think people who aspire to pursue creativity may have a harder time initially becoming established and reaching stability, but in the long run have the ability to become world changers. Thinking about these creative opportunities that can be chased after gives me a breath of fresh air and draws me back to the truth that we have been created in God.s image.

During a recent visit to Waco, I spent some time at the house in the picture. It was a very significant time of talking with two old friends and roommates, Chloe and Mindy. Their house is similar to the one i referred to in a previous blog. It has so much personality. Every room is shaped differently, in an odd way, with cozy nooks and wooden floors. Chloe is such a unique and refreshing person to be around. I visited with her about what the future may look like, and we shared ideas of how creativity, art, and relationships could be the core of our "career path" pursuit.

Here are some old thinks:

I think the thing that sets us apart as humans and makes us unique is our own theoretical design of the ideal person. Each one of us has a mental perception of what or who the ideal person is, but each of our perceptions differ in numerous ways. We see a diverse spectrum of value in different character strengths and view the severity of character flaws in different lights. Every person strives to be that ideal person in their mind in both conscious and subconscious ways, and that is the strive to live up to one’s potential. The ideal person that is in someone’s brain is also what they would look like at their personal full potential. As a Christian, I think God gifted all of his creation with different strengths and talents. He also constructed our brains which make up who we are as people. We all have weaknesses to account for, but using our diverse strengths to become our version of the ideal person in our minds is what differentiates us as a diverse population. We are not unique simply because of who we are, but because of who we strive to be, which directs the essence who we are…..or maybe not. Im jus sayin.

WHY SO COMPLICATED.

Everyone’s first blog seems to be a defense of why they have started to blog. Why do we feel the need to explain ourselves? Having said that, I am not going to introduce this blog with explanation or shame.

I want to write a book one day. I don’t know how realistic this is, but somewhere deep in my soul I think I will achieve this goal. I am envious of children’s book writers. After I see or read a children’s book (sometimes just looking at the pictures suffice) I always think, “well I could have done that!” I am not at a point in my life where I have a books worth of knowledge to share with the world, but I’m expecting things to get juicer.

I have two other main goals to achieve before I die. I want to learn to play the violin, and I want to get a black eye.

But all I really want to do is drink coffee in a quaint portland coffee shop with my favorite friend on a cold blue morning while listening to the best music my ears have ever eaten.

I really like the background setting on my blog. It reminds me of what I dream about for my own house. I want to live in an old house with a lot of history and character. Maybe a former crack house. not really, that could get complicated. But i want to live in a house made of wood with a lot of creepy antique mirrors and quilts all about.