Spoken Word Poem 1.

In this life every day presents a struggle,

Mouths to feed, bills to pay

Driving home, cars in the way

We think we’re alright

Because our money’s not tight

We aren’t one of “those”

Who need people like us- with the resources you know

our actions say “ill give some away”

Cuz that’s the Christian way

Not paying any attention

To our soul’s retention

But where’s the sacrifice

Did you even pay a price

When you discard what you don’t need

To a person who needs to believe

That there is hope

And you are there

You’ll give your time

And you sincerely care

About their well being

Not just the physical things 

Because you see sometimes we need more

Than those we think are poor

Your need is hidden inside your status

You define your worth with class

But one day it will shatter like a piece of glass

To a million pieces

Because that’s not the heart of Jesus

To climb a social ladder

That doesn’t even matter

Let’s share our burdens with one another

Not just our stuff, its really just clutter

That stands in the way

Of our deep need to communicate

That we are hurt and afraid

Can we ditch the masquerade

And come face to face

With our sisters and our brothers

There’s no need to cover

Because we all have needs

Some are obvious some unseen

No fear in love- we give and take

Let’s be the body for the kingdom’s sake 

I know it's God....

I'm enamored by the way God designed us each in a unique way to hear his voice in the secret place with him. When I write, I know when it's God speaking to me. I know it's his voice opposed to my shallow thoughts when the overflow of my heart spills out into words as I get quiet and still before the throne. My best writing doesn't come when I am forcing myself to produce something, anything, but when I can't help but to pull the words out of the deepest places as my Father whispers in my ear. I know it's God when I am the person who needs to hear what I have to say so desperately. Perhaps what I write may speak to someone else, but the passion comes from my own personal struggles and shortcomings. Lord, help me to believe what know. 

Inner Beauty is a Lie.

Inner Beauty is a lie. In fact, I think young people are lied to about many things early on that severely distort their perception of reality. Like most females, I have strong opinions around the pressures that women face in society to appear a certain way on the outside. However, a lot of the mainstream self-esteem curriculum that has penetrated our culture and coaxed young girls into dwelling on their thought patterns toward themselves doesn't sit well with me. 

When I was young, I was told by adults that I could be anything I wanted to be. Maybe that's why I had an unrealistic expectation of becoming a scientist. This aspiration was based off of my interest in collecting rocks when we went on vacation. As I grew older my love of rocks evolved more into a love of jewelry than an interest geology....is that what it's called? God made me with some specific gifts and abilities, but as an adult I see that they could not get me very far as a scientist...or a "motorcycle woman" for that matter. (Another legitimate childhood dream.)  

I also heard a lot about inner beauty. Looking back it seems like it was some sort of compensation for not measuring up  physically. But I wish girls were affirmed in their conclusions that some of their friends might be ascetically more pleasing to the eye than they are, and that's ok. If we live in a broken world where life is not fair, then why do we constantly feel the need to place everyone on a level playing field in every arena?

Honestly, I felt like one of those girls who had to rely on inner beauty to make up for my extended awkward (understatement) years. I am so grateful. I never had teenage heartbreak, I just had fun with my friends. I was able to observe and become sensitive to others who felt left out or different. Somehow I was slightly ignorant to the extent of my awkwardness, which could probably be attributed to my encouraging parents who kept my focus on Christ. 

I do think beauty comes from within, but only when we become a hallow vessel seeking Christ as the author of our identity. When we become fixated on Christ, beauty has a new meaning because it's not directly reflective of our outer shell. There is so much beauty in his creation of human beings, but our assessment of our physical beauty has wandered astray with somewhat unattainable societal standards. Ultimately, I believe that true inner beauty comes from the reflection of Christ in our lives and our ability to love others in the way that He loves us. Woman, you will compare yourselves to other women. In some instances you will find yourself better off and other times you'll walk away from an interaction feeling subpar. It's real. But when your goal is to serve your Father who created you, tell me why it matters. You become beautiful when the love of God overflows within you and impacts your priorities, your perspective,  and your desires. 

How effective could the body of Christ be if we accepted the reality of the kingdom on earth and focused on who he created each of us to be as individuals instead of watering each other down with equality? We are equally valuable but have distinct gifts, opportunities, experiences, abilities, and looks. It all plays a role in determining the trajectory of God's will for our lives. 

Inner beauty is a lie when explained as "you may not be pretty on the outside but-......" 
No, you are beautiful on the inside because you know who created you and you are aware of the confidence that went into your creation. 

Because

Today I'll turn my "I wish.." into "I'm grateful", accepting present circumstances for what they are, truly grateful for life itself. We are blessed abundantly, even if things in our world don't measure up to the perfect mosaic in our mind that may or may not be God's portion for us. Will you join me? Be good to your soul today, you deserve it.

When we love God more than the life He has given us, we lose an attachment to things on this earth and become more aware of the things unseen. Our mistakes and failures impact us differently. We know that we are covered in grace but because we love Jesus we have an intentional pursuit of holiness. Generosity is a natural outpouring of our heart. Every day we face the tension of living in the flesh versus living with eternity on the forefront of our minds. I don't want less of anything, I just want more of Jesus.

Too often I believe we use our “faith” as the means to achieve equilibrium in our lives. Perhaps when we are stressed we pray that God would calm us, when we are anxious we seek comfort in hearing Him whisper to us that things will work out. But what does “work out” look like to us? God promises that we will face trials in this life. Our faith gives us the strength to be thankful for these difficulties in THE MIDST of our experience. We don’t have to wait to be thankful once difficult situations are reconciled. Being blessed entails something greater than everything in our world feeling comfortable, something greater than being all “set” with great family, great job, great home, etc. Faith is not hoping that circumstances will get better; it’s having the ability to run head first into the path before us. It will be difficult at times, but that does not mean we aren’t blessed or that he has left us. Our Father wants more for us than to give us a nice set up. How can we really make an impact in the lives of others without facing trials and difficulty ourselves? Bring it on Jesus, I have your Holy Spirit in me. You tell me who I am, where to go. Don’t just fix me, use me.